You Don't See Me
by Shadow Angel
Summary: An angsty little fic about Lina and her love for someone who doesn't seem to return it.


Author's Note: This is my first songfic, not to mention my first Slayers' fic. So people, please be kind. I welcome any comments and criticism, but please don't be rude and flame me harshly. I would really appreciate any writers out there to point out anything they deem as confusing or wrong. It's the only way I'll become a better writer. :)  
  
  
  
*Disclaimer*: Slayers and the song 'You Don't See Me' both belong to their respective owners.  
  
  
  
You Don't See Me  
  
~This is the place where I sit~  
~This is the part where I love you too much~  
~Is this as hard as it gets?~  
~Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough~  
  
  
Lina Inverse, also known as Sorceress Extraordinaire, Dragon Spooker, Enemy of All Who Live and various other titles was sitting atop a tree branch to keep an eye out as the rest of the group slept. The night was quiet and still, the murmur of the leaves and grass swishing under the gentle touch of the breeze the only sound. Not even Gourry's habitual loud snoring interrupted the peace. Lina had taken care of that herself. As soon as Amelia had turned the night watch over to her, she had stuffed a large cork in Gourry's gaping mouth, forcing him to breathe through his nose if he planned on surviving.  
  
But now, in the silence of an all too perfect night (dammit, not even the crickets made a sound), she debated whether to pull out the cork or just leave things as they were.  
  
Oh, how she fervently wished for a bandit gang or something of the like to come along.  
  
The nights were always too quiet and endless and beautiful for her comfort. The silence and dreamy atmosphere annoyed her for _one_ particular reason. It gave her a chance to dream.  
  
  
~I'm here if you want me~  
~I'm yours, you can hold me~  
~I'm empty and aching~  
~And tumbling and breaking~  
  
  
She wrapped herself more tightly in her cape and forced herself to look out at the surroundings and away from the camp the group had set up for the night. These hours between the middle of the night and the crack of dawn were full of too many chances to think. And imagine. And dream. Dreaming is not something Lina Inverse allowed herself to do. She seldom needed to. Whatever she wanted, she got her own way. Money, treasure, food, you name it.  
  
But she had never wanted a guy...  
  
  
~Cause you don't see me~  
~And you don't need me~  
~And you don't love me~  
~The way I wish you would~  
~The way I know you could~  
  
  
Sure, throughout the last few years she had dreamed up the perfect husband. The business woman in her demanded a man of position and rank and wealth. The small part of her she permitted to be fanciful and starry-eyed asked for a romantic piece to be added to the mixture. What she had ended up with was a blond prince riding a white horse.  
  
Who would've known that the guy she'd end up falling for was none of the above? He wasn't rich or a prince or fit any of the requirements she had set. He wasn't even blonde!  
  
No, he was a self obsessed, arrogant, cold-hearted idiot who only cared about his looks and the way other people saw him!  
  
Lina sighed and slumped back on the tree, gazing up at the full moon above before her eyes found something else to rest upon. Someone else to focus on...  
  
He had other qualities, too. He was caring of his friends, if a bit aloof. He was willing to accept when he was wrong, even if he was dead-stubborn about some things. He was wise, yet hot-headed. He was human no matter how many times he denied it. He was... he was... unaware...  
  
  
~I dream a world where you understand~  
~But I dream a million sleepless nights~  
~I dream of fire when you're touching my hand~  
~But it twists into smoke when I turn on the light~  
  
  
He frustrated her with his stubborness and yet at the same time she wished for nothing more that to help him. To make him smile and laugh that disarming laugh of his that was so rare. How she hated him for it. He made her want something that was out of reach. His heart.  
  
She knew his cold demeaner was just a way for him to protect himself. Just like her facade of a greedy, money-grubbing, egotistical, all-powerful sorceress.  
  
Sometimes, he made her think that he felt about her the same way she felt about him. He gave her a glimpse of what things could be like. But then it was gone. Poof, just like that he became indifferent again. And he left her yearning for it more. For the undying affections he could give someone if he let himself.  
  
If only he'd realize how much it hurted her to see him everyday and not be able to touch him. To not be able to sink into his arms, hold him when he needed it, kiss him and drag him into oblivion with her. Where nothing mattered except them. But he didn't let himself feel. He didn't want to be hurt the way he had been too many times already.   
  
And she was the same way, too...  
  
  
~I'm speechless and faded~  
~It's too complicated~  
~Is this how the book ends?~  
~Nothing but good friends?~  
  
  
She hadn't told him how she felt. He was so focused on his cure. So intense in his search. And since that seemed to be the only thing that would make him happy, she didn't interveen. If she told him, he'd reject her because he couldn't concentrate on anything but his cure. Then he'd feel uncomfortable around her and probably go off by himself all over again. And that would make her heart bleed.  
  
She'd rather stay with him and help him search even if her feelings for him were left unspoken, than confess and drive him away. She couldn't bare it if he left again. Especially if she was the cause.  
  
So they would remain friends. She would keep her love, her eternal loyalty for him to herself. And hope that someday he'd find his cure. Maybe then...  
  
  
~This is the place in my heart~  
~This is the place where I'm falling apart~  
~Isn't this just where we met?~  
~Is this the last chance that I'll ever get~  
  
  
"Lina?"  
  
She turned from her inspection of the fork in the road. "Yeah, Zel?"  
  
"I found another lead in the town we just passed. Hopefully this one will be the one."  
  
"That's great, Zel! Which way did they tell you?"  
  
"Left. I know you guys are headed for Saillune, so I'll search for myself."  
  
"Wait a minute! You're leaving?"  
  
"Yeah. I'll probably see you guys later."  
  
"But Zel, I thought we were a team? Don't you want to us to...?"  
  
"It'll probably just be a waste of your time. I can go by myself."  
  
"But... but..."  
  
"I'll see you later Lina."  
  
She stared at his retreating back and suddenly ran after him. "Wait! Zel!"  
  
He turned. "What is it?"  
  
She came to a ragged halt in front of him. "I... um... I..."  
  
  
~I wish I was lonely~  
~Instead of just only~  
~crystal and see-through~  
~And not enough to you~  
  
  
"Lina? What is it?"  
  
"I... I... I want to go with you!"  
  
"But... Are you sure you don't want to go with Gou- with the others?"  
  
"No silly. Saillune doesn't have anything I haven't already seen. The place where you're going might have rare treasure." A false grin on her face.  
  
"... Okay... If you want to tag along..."  
  
"Great! Let's go then."  
  
He nodded and turned and they began walking.  
  
  
~Cause you don't see me~  
~And you don't need me~  
~And you don't love me~  
~The way I wish you would~  
~The way I wish you would~  
~The way I know you could~  
  
  
Maybe someday...  
  
  
  
  
  
*Okay, what did you all think? Review please! ^_^ Thanks!*   
  



End file.
